


How to Drive John Watson Bananas

by yourdykeinshiningarmor



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Awful "First Meeting" Prompts, Bananas, Blow Jobs, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Unilock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-19
Updated: 2015-04-19
Packaged: 2018-03-24 19:40:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3781963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourdykeinshiningarmor/pseuds/yourdykeinshiningarmor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's always that <i>one</i> student in each class that makes it their mission to annoy the other students and, at eight in the morning, John isn't in the mood.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How to Drive John Watson Bananas

**Author's Note:**

  * For [redscudery](https://archiveofourown.org/users/redscudery/gifts), [SincerelyChaos](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SincerelyChaos/gifts).



> I saw a list of awkward/weird first meeting prompts on Tumblr and this one stuck... the “you sit across from me in class and every morning you stare me down whilst eating a banana” AU. I just had to. And I couldn't _not_ make it a PWP. I hope it isn't too ridiculous, and, even if it is, that you enjoy.
> 
> For Redscudery and SincerelyChaos: you were so excited about it, I decided to gift it to you :)

John wandered into the room and plopped into one of the seats near the back, his bag sliding off his shoulder as he lifted his hands to rub his eyes again. His hands slid down his face and settled his chin in them.

_Why did I_ ever _think an eight AM class was a good idea?_

Oh, that’s right, Mike was supposed to take this class with him but had dropped out after the first session. It was too early for him, Mike claimed. John hadn’t had that luxury; he needed to get this class over with so he could continue on in his studies and all the later classes were too full to transfer to.

John glanced around the room at the other students. His eyes stopped on one particular student two seats over and he let out a groan; the same curly-headed brunette had spent every morning before class for the last _five_ _weeks_ eating a banana while staring at John. He was done with it. It just wasn’t polite!

“Do you have to do that?” John said, looking squarely in the other student’s eyes, hoping to intimidate him a little bit.

The brunette took another bite before replying, “I am simply eating my breakfast.”

“And you have to look at me while you do?” John’s eyes flicked down to the half eaten banana hovering near the man’s lips.

“I wasn’t aware that there were restrictions about where I was allowed to look.” He took another bite.

John groaned but turned back to the front of the room. Thankfully, the professor walked in a few minutes later and he was too occupied with staying awake to worry about his socially clueless neighbor.

\--------------

Two weeks later, John was at house party hosted by Mike’s fraternity. He grabbed a cup as he walked through the house trying to find his friend. He stopped near one of the doors and did a double take through the room; he didn’t know anyone else here and was near desperate for a familiar face.

“You will find Mike otherwise indisposed in a bedroom upstairs,” came a deep baritone behind him.

John spun around and saw the same brunette from his morning chemistry class. He mentally pulled a face at his luck; he didn’t think he was this desperate. _I don’t even remember his name_.

“It’s Sherlock.”

John cocked his head in surprise. “Can you read minds?” he asked without even thinking about it.

“Nonsense,” Sherlock replied. “You sighed upon seeing me and squinted your eyes slightly. You’ve just arrived and do not appear intoxicated so it is unlikely that you don’t recognize me. Alternately, you’ve squinted because you know who I am but have forgot my name. Ergo, I introduced myself. And you are John.”

John nodded, not sure if he should be creeped out or not; this was banana boy after all. He took a sip of his beer and opted for silence instead. The pair stood watching the goings on in the room, while John kept stealing side glances at the mysterious man next to him. There wasn’t much that John knew about him; they both took morning chemistry and Sherlock was easily the smartest person in class. He would also be kidding himself if he didn’t acknowledge that the taller man was attractive. And there was _something_ about him that John just couldn’t put a finger on.

“The girl in the pink dress? In an open relationship with her boyfriend and girlfriend.”

John looked over at the person in question.

“The boy in the blue shirt? Sings in drag at the local gay bar every fourth Saturday.”

John frowned, not really sure what was going on.

“That couple straight ahead? She’s the Dom and he’s her sub.”

“Are you making this up?” John finally asked, turning to look fully at the brunette.

Sherlock looked affronted. “Of course not! I simply observe.”

John glared at the man but turned back to the crowd. He watched the people mentioned and saw the details, the small tells that gave away their secrets. John froze when he felt warm breath against the skin of his neck.

“A sister who’s a lesbian but family didn’t approve. Bisexuality that has been kept under lock and key. Freedom from family has brought that curiosity to the forefront.”

John shivered at the deep timber of Sherlock’s voice; the vibrations suddenly coalescing in his cock. _Where had that come from?!_

“Equal height blonde women but tall brunette men… intelligence kink… a tiny bit of exhibitionist…”

John sucked in a breath as a finger traced a line up his cock through the fabric of his jeans. He couldn’t deny anything the Sherlock had said up to this point.

“You fancy me.”

The blonde man let out a moan as warm wet lips pressed a kiss to his neck. He did, he fancied Sherlock. Before this conversation he would have called anyone who claimed that a nutter but now he couldn’t deny it; it was all so spot on. Besides, the raunchy part of his brain kept going back to the banana eating. A firm hand pressed against his hip as long slender fingers reached around to grip the outline of his cock through his jeans.

“Bananas aren’t the only things I like to eat,” Sherlock whispered into John’s ear, teeth catching on the fleshy part of the lobe as his palm pressed down against John’s erection.

John groaned again. “Fuck, Sherlock.” He swallowed audibly. “You may be right, but I don’t want to do this here.” John reluctantly pulled himself from Sherlock’s embrace. John turned to face the brunette and his eyes flicked towards the stairs.

Sherlock followed John's gaze and smiled. He slipped his hand into John’s and tugged him towards the stairs, taking two at a time.

John laughed as he followed Sherlock without question. “A bit eager are we?” John asked as they reached the top.

Sherlock answered by shoving John back against the wall and claiming his mouth with a kiss.

John's eyes widened at the unexpected contact but he quickly relaxed into it. His lips parted as a warm tongue pressed its way in, dancing lightly against his own. John’s hands went to the brunette’s hips and pulled them closer together. He could feel the taller man’s erection pressing against his own. He bucked his hips forward, grinding them together, and they both released a moan. John took the opportunity to grab Sherlock’s lower lip with his teeth and gently tease the brunette.

“Not here either,” John whispered. “I may be curious but that is only for me and my partner to see. We’ve given everyone enough of a show for my tastes.” He rocked his hips again in encouragement.

Sherlock looked at John through half-lidded eyes, but they were both panting slightly. The click of a door lock and the slight creak of the hinges made them both turn their heads. At the end of the hall, Mike was emerging from his bedroom, followed closely by his current girlfriend. He smiled as he spotted the pair near the stairs.

“Use mine, mates,” Mike offered. “Lord knows that it’s probably the cleanest,” he giggled.

John and Sherlock both watched as Mike passed them and headed down the stairs.

“Bedside table, if you need anything,” he called behind him before disappearing into the crowd.

John looked back up at Sherlock and grinned. He slipped out from under the detective; this time he was the one to pull them in a particular direction.

Sherlock followed, a faint smile on his lips. As the door closed behind him and the lock slid into place, it grew into a full-on grin. John continued to direct the brunette before finally pushing him onto the bed. Sherlock bounced as he landed.

John climbed on top Sherlock and looked him in the eye. “I’ve not done this before.”

Sherlock looked back, momentarily sobered, before a wicked grin crossed his face. “Yes, but your general sexual prowess will prove sufficient and, besides,” Sherlock quirked his head, considering the man over him. “Yes, you are a quick study. No need to worry.” Sherlock lifted a hand to John’s head and pulled him down for another searing kiss.

The little bit of nervousness John felt quickly vanished; his hands deftly began unbuttoning Sherlock shirt as his hips rutted against the brunette of their own volition. Sherlock did the same and, before either knew it, they lay naked and pressed against one another.

John shuttered at the feeling of a hot, hard cock sliding along his own. It was completely different from the warm soft heat of a woman, but it was still just as pleasant. Sherlock had them gripped loosely in hand, keeping the friction going as they rocked and kissed and explored each other.

When Sherlock released them, John let out a groan of disappointment. He pulled his face back and looked at the brunette as a hand to his chest urged him over onto his back. John stared at Sherlock with a curious look on his face, until the man started crawling backwards down John’s body. He had only a moment to prepare before his cock was enveloped in the warm moist heat of Sherlock’s mouth. John nearly came right then and there as Sherlock took him right down to the base, eyes firmly locked with the blonde man’s.

“Fuck, Sherlock…” John moaned, his head falling back against the bed.

Sherlock hummed as eyes drifted closed, pulling back as his tongue swirling around the head of John's cock. He continued to work John, licking and sucking to bring John closer and closer to the edge before pulling off with an obscene pop.

John looked down at Sherlock wondering why he had stopped and what was next. He watched as Sherlock pulled up on his cock, causing his foreskin to slip up over the head of his cock. Sherlock’s piercing gaze combined with this grip on John's cock made him think of banana eating again.

“I am hungry, John,” Sherlock responded to John's look, slowly sliding his hand down and revealing the head of the blonde man’s cock. Sherlock leaned down and placed the head in his mouth, lips pulled back as his teeth made contact with the hot, flushed skin. Slowly, he drug his teeth up, as if he took a bite of a banana, but the contact was so light as to be maddening and  not painful as one would imagine.

John shuddered, breaths coming in quick pants with each “bite” that Sherlock took lower and lower down his cock. Sometimes it was just the gentle pressure of teeth, others had the firm pressure of Sherlock’s tongue against the underside of his cock. By the time Sherlock was near the base, John was a writhing mess beneath the brunette, fists tangled in the sheets and hips twitching in their need to buck up into that hot wet mouth. He had to look away halfway through to keep himself under control.

“Bloody hell, Sherlock… so close…” John panted. He looked down again and met the steel-blue eyes. John could see he was just as aroused as John was, one hand between his legs and stroking his own erection as the brunette feasted upon John's. He watched as a feral grin crossed Sherlock’s face and he was engulfed again. This time, Sherlock bit down more firmly, causing just enough pain to be arousing before swallowing repeatedly around John.

“Fuck! Sherlock!” John’s hand flew to the brunette’s hair in warning.

Sherlock only sucked harder in response, humming around John’s cock.

John felt the heat pool deep in his pelvis half a second before he came. Distantly he noticed that Sherlock was rocking back and forth with the momentum of his hand flying over his own cock.

The brunette sucked and swallowed around John as he came, the thickening of the cock in his mouth sending him over the edge. He moaned around John as pleasure overtook him.

John sunk boneless into the bed as Sherlock’s mouth slipped away from his softening cock. He could feel Sherlock’s cooling come sliding down the cleft in his arse but he didn’t care. Sherlock’s head lay on John’s hip where he had collapsed and they were both panting heavily.

After several minutes, John was finally recovered enough to say, “You and your bloody banana.”

Sherlock was silent for a moment before John felt a rumble on his thigh that gradually became a full-blown laugh from the brunette. He was laughing so hard that John couldn’t help laughing along with him.

“I detest bananas,” Sherlock finally said, once the laughing had been reduced to the occasional giggle.

John looked down at him confused. “What? Why were you eating them then?”

“A pickle is hardly appropriate for breakfast and we had a morning class.”

John let out another chuckle. “So all this was some sort of planned seduction on your part?”

Sherlock lifted his head from John's hip and considered his answer for a moment; best to go with honest. “I was actually performing an experiment on the reactions of people in public to normal actions with a decidedly erotic nature. I ate varying phallic foods in each of my classes. Your reaction was not the same as the others. It intrigued me.”

“What did the others do?”

“After the second time I did it, they said to ‘piss off.’”

John giggled again and Sherlock joined him. He gripped Sherlock’s shoulder and pulled him up into a post-coital embrace. He knew they needed to leave soon but he was going to enjoy this for the next few minutes. He didn’t know where this was going to go with Sherlock, but he was fairly certain he had figured out what the _something_ was he couldn’t pinpoint earlier. As Sherlock settled back against John’s chest, he decided it was also something he wanted to get to know better. Although, he wasn’t sure if he could ever look at a banana the same again.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, let me know what you think with kudos, comments, and/or constructive criticism. You can also find me on [Tumblr](http://yourdykeinshiningarmor.tumblr.com/).

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Driven to Distraction](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3885742) by [MonikaKrasnorada](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MonikaKrasnorada/pseuds/MonikaKrasnorada)




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